relationship

What is Your Self-Love Language?

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What is Your Self Love Language

Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages describes five different styles of showing your love. Whether it be to your spouse or loved ones. These include;

What Is Your Personal Self-Love Language?

How do you best respond to acts of love done by you for you? Most of us run through our days checking off our to-do lists. Ensuring that the needs of everyone else are met. By the time the day is over, you may be feeling tired or drained. Maybe even overwhelmed by the never-ending list of tasks that are yet to be completed.

Unfortunately, living like this is not benefiting your health or your relationships with;

  • Family
  • Friends
  • Children
  • Neighbours
  • Co-workers

It is time to tune in to what your self-love language is and start showing yourself some love.

Make Yourself A Priority

The five self-love languages are the same as what we listed above. However, you are going to be tending to the most important relationship you will ever nurture, the one with yourself.

This concept might feel strange at first. Especially if you aren’t used to focusing your attention on yourself. But I encourage you to power through those feelings. Really work hard on filling up your own love tank so that you can be a more grounded and happy person.

find your love language

Find Your Self-Love Language

Let’s take a look at how these different types of self-love languages could be applied to our lives.

  1. Words of Affirmation – The inner dialog that you have going on with yourself is vitally important to your health and self-image. Spend time everyday saying nice things to yourself.  While you brush your teeth, or in the car on the way to work, tell yourself 3 things that you value and love about yourself. With each passing day this task will become easier as you become more comfortable with having this type of dialog with yourself.
  2. Acts of Service – To perform an act of service for yourself, look at ways to fill your heart with joy.  It may be delving into your faith or volunteering at a local charity, or donating something to someone in need.
  3. Receiving gifts – Set aside twenty dollars per week (or whatever you can afford) to use to buy yourself something that you have always wanted, or invest in a hobby.
  4. Quality Time – Spend time doing something that fills you with joy and relieves stress.  It may be taking a yoga class, learning how to do a hobby, reading a great book, or it could be as simple as taking a rejuvenating nap.
  5. Physical touch – To show yourself love through physical touch, you could get a massage, a manicure or pedicure, get a new haircut, or get a reiki treatment. Other options would be to sweat it out at the gym or your favourite workout class.

Whatever your self-love language may be, start today by making yourself a priority.

#Relationshipgoals

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relationship goals

When is the last time that you sat down with your spouse and discussed your relationship goals?

The hashtag #relationshipgoals is running rampant on social media showcasing photos of celebrity couples that people are idolizing over. Maybe the man in the picture is opening the door for his partner or a couple is working out together or maybe they are cuddled up watching a movie.

Basically these photos are a snapshot of what their reality truly is. The use of a hashtag by no means equates to the truth or reality. In some cases, I would like to imagine that their relationship is meaningful and fulfilling, but in others, unfortunately it is likely a cry for attention.

When we first enter a new relationship, things tend to be all warm and fuzzy. You are getting to know your partner and you are intrigued by their goals and desires in life. As the relationship progresses and life starts to take over, we can become less focused on our partner’s goals and needs.

We become focused on work, our social lives, children, and other commitments and we stop being as attentive or focused on healthy relationship communication. It is crucially important for any longterm relationship to re-examine the goals of each person and communicate ways in which those goals can be achieved.

We need to be our partner’s biggest fan and support system in life. Learning how you can support them in the various aspects of their life will strengthen the bond that you have with your spouse. If you have children, it will also set an incredible example of how love can be shown in so many different ways in a relationship.

My advice is to set up a regularly scheduled date with your spouse to discuss your relationship and create a safe space where both people feel that they can be open and honest about how they are feeling. This is the perfect time to discuss issues that may have arisen or it could be a time to put in place a plan for the future.

Remember that one of the keys to a successful conversation with you spouse is to listen with an open mind and heart. Refrain from being critical or judgmental if what your spouse is communicating isn’t what you are expecting or wanting to hear. Finally, ask your partner how you can help them to achieve their goals. It could be something as simple as taking on more responsibilities at home to allow your spouse to go to a weekly exercise class or it could be finding ways to save money to go on a vacation that you have both been wanting to take. 

Every conversation that you have with your spouse will and should be different. Our #relationshipgoals change as we grow and develop as people and they should never be compared to the standard that social media tries to impose upon us. Every relationship is unique and should be celebrated for the love that it brings to the world.