6 Human Needs

Sometimes on the surface life seems OK.  However, down deep we actually feel unfulfilled, empty and dissatisfied.  We can’t seem to put our finger on why we feel the way we do. This can happen when one or more of our 6 human needs are not being met.

The 6 Human Needs Include:

  1. Certainty
  2. Uncertainty/Variety
  3. Significance
  4. Connection /Love
  5. Growth
  6. Contribution

At some level, we may believe, consciously or subconsciously that we are meeting our psychological needs by what we do, feel or experience.  However, there is a lot more to it!

diversity and commonality

Diversity And Commonality

We all come from a different orientations, backgrounds and beliefs.  Also differing are our:

  • Education
  • Rules
  • Language
  • Religions
  • Cultures

In fact, this is what makes our individual fabric so unique.  We are all diverse in how we think, feel and behave.  However, that said, we are all hard wired with the same 6 Human Needs.

We strive to meet each of these needs with varying levels of success determining how we think, feel and act.  The problem arises when our fundamental needs are not being met enough, being met too much, or not being met at all.

fundamental needs

Fundamental Needs

In Life Coaching, the 6 Human Needs is a a very useful strategy to balance and re-prioritize your life in optimal ways.  Although this strategy was presumably birthed from Maslows heirarchy of physiological needs – The 6 Needs differ as they are psychological needs that we should be aware of.  In order to achieve a higher level of happiness and fulfillment, they need to be met and continually improved upon.

Have you ever listened to Anthony Robbins spin his magic during a strategic intervention?  He is primarily using and mastering, the art of identifying the 6 Human Needs.

In life coaching it is important that the client understands the 6 Human Needs to further understand themselves and others at a deep and useful level.  People will generally be less judgmental of themselves and others with an understanding of the cause of a behaviour or attitude.

Click here to read A Scientific Validation Of Your Emotions to get a deeper understanding of your emotions.

Tony Robbins - 6 Human Needs (Adult Content Please Be Advised)

The 6 Human Needs

Every individual needs to fulfill them to survive as they are the basis and motivation for every choice we make in life. So let’s dig into them a little deeper.

Certainty

This need is the driving desire to feel safe, comfortable and secure in our environment and our relationships.  The fundamental need to avoid pain and seek pleasure.  Even though certainty is necessary to all of us, the degree of certainty required is different for every person.

Certainty may be met by living in squalor with the bare essentials while others feel certainty only if they live in luxury and abundance.

Code Words For Certainty
  • Comfort
  • Security
  • Safety
  • Stability
  • Feeling grounded
  • Predictability
  • Protection
uncertainty out of your comfort zone

Uncertainty/ Variety

Variety is the spice of life.  Everyone needs variety and challenges.  Physically, mentally and emotionally, we require uncertainty for our overall well being.  When Life gets boring and routine we seek change and variety.  Something different, and the excitement that it brings us to feel alive.

Examples of variety and uncertainty might include:

  • Travel
  • Extreme sports
  • Compulsive sex
  • Stepping outside your comfort zone
  • Going to the movies

A major source of variety is to experience our problems.

Code Words For Uncertainty
  • Fear
  • Instability
  • Change
  • Chaos
  • Entertainment
  • Stepping outside our comfort zone
  • Suspense
  • Exertion
  • Surprise
  • Conflict
  • Crisis
significance

Significance

A throwback need from infancy to be number one.  As children we competed with our siblings to be special and unique.  Significance comes from our roots of comparing ourselves to others as superior or inferior.  The need for significance can be filled by achievement and success. It can also be met by a destructive act or bringing someone down.

A positive act of significance can help raise our standards, but if we are overly focused on significance (it’s all about me) we will have trouble connecting or expressing our love to others.  Significance can come from:

  • Providing for family
  • Philanthropy
  • Major achievements
  • Acquiring wealth
  • Humanitarian work

However, conversely done by being a failure, having low self worth, or a criminal record.

Code Words For Significance
  • Pride
  • Importance
  • Achievement
  • Perfection
  • Discipline
  • Competition
  • Rejection
love and togetherness

Love/Connection

Again, a need that is nurtured during infancy and childhood.  In fact, infants who are not held and touched will die.  The need for connection continues into adulthood that everyone strives for.  Romantic love as we know it in our culture does not exist in many other cultures. However, connection is necessary whether it be in the family, workplace or community. The need to be loved is something we all share.

Code Words For Love/Connection
  • Togetherness
  • Passion
  • Unity
  • Warmth
  • Tenderness
  • Caring
  • Desire
personal growth

Growth

When we are green we grow. When we are ripe we rot, and when we stop growing we die.  Therefore there is a continual need for us to develop physically, emotionally and spiritually throughout the various stages of life.

Growth can be met through education and reading. Also by nurturing, developing and expanding your health, resources and relationships. Growth helps to define fulfillment. One needs something to serve that is larger than themselves (family, community, the world) to give us the initiative to grow in order to give beyond ourselves.

contribution

Contribution

Like growth, contribution is a need for the spirit and fulfillment.  A need to give back to others.  It is our nature to have a sense that we are making a contribution to leave a positive mark to make the world, community, family and/or job a better place.

The 6 Human Needs In Summary

The first four needs are for human survival as everyone must meet them at some level.  The last two needs, growth and contribution are essential to human fulfillment.  Not everyone finds a way to satisfy these needs of the spirit, although they are necessary for lasting fulfillment.

Click here to read Top Tips To Manage Your Emotions.

six human needs exercise

A Worthy Exercise

First, try to determine where each of your six needs are being met. Next, determine which two needs are most important to you.  Once you are able to identify your needs and the needs of others, we can then determine which needs are in conflict. Thus causing you to feel unfulfilled, empty and dissatisfied. Furthermore why healthy relationships are not being met.

By completing this exercise, you will have a greater appreciation for my next blog, Unleash The Power Within.  There, we will explore the 6 Human Needs at a practical and much deeper level.

I’m Single. Why Does Valentine’s Day Matter?

Valentine's Day

It doesn’t matter if you are attached or single on Valentine’s Day! The message that should be portrayed goes much deeper than getting chocolates from a secret admirer.

Sadly, the confectionary and stationery companies have gotten ahold of this once-sacred holiday and turned it into another opportunity for consumption.

If you are able to look past spending money on teddy bears, chocolates, flowers and lace, you will begin to see that there is a beautiful side to the now-commercialized holiday.

The message that shines through from the deeper side of this holiday is the importance of taking a moment to appreciate love, the wonderful people in our lives and to take a minute to shower each other with gratitude.

In present day, that gratitude can equate to purchases, but at the roots of the holiday, the message is love and appreciation.

However, the most important aspect of the love and appreciation we share on this day can sometimes be forgotten.

Self Love!!

What are you doing today to celebrate your SELF?? Your incredible value, your consciousness, your health and your life? Often, it’s too easy to forget about our selves and care for everyone else, showering them with all of our love, kindness, support and help, and we forget to leave some for ourselves!!

It is very difficult to fill someone else’s cup if yours is empty.

This week, in honour of Saint Valentine, spend some time with yourself, working on your self care, and noticing how you feel.

Spend time doing things that you love to do, take a time out and close the door. Remember back to less stressful times, or maybe when you actually had TIME! and think of things you used to love to do. If you have a hobby that you haven’t picked up in awhile, return to it and experience the joy of doing things you want to do, rather than things you have to do!

Maybe your self care is making time to have a luxurious bath without your children banging the door down. Ask for support when you need it – and have someone help you out so that you can take a bit of time for yourself.

Or maybe you love yoga and rarely get the chance to go to a class. If you have responsibilities at home that make it difficult to go to a class, bring one to you!! There are many amazing yoga classes on YouTube that you can do right at home. Look for an online teacher that is at your speed and make time to enjoy this practice. Get lost in your breath and breathe joy and love back into your life.

Whatever you choose to do to create space for some self care, it’s also important to focus on self love. Develop a mantra that you can say to yourself every day that makes you feel important, appreciated, beautiful, loved, healthy and supported. It is so important to develop a deep love for yourself and treat yourself how you treat your best friend – with kind, supportive words and overflowing love and kindness.